Eat A Salad or: Why am I so fat?

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY POSTED ON NOVIMATREM’S BLOG

Hello. In case you didn’t know, I am a woman of considerable weight, I’m fat as hell. It’s not something I’m shy about, in fact it’s something that I am very forward and direct with.

The other day, as is the standard experience of being a woman on the internet, especially a trans one, I received a series of messages attempting to deride and abuse me, unsuccessfully.Body positivity

“Eat a salad.”, I was told. I then responded with the fact that I had, and an image I’d taken literally on the day prior, containing my plate of freshly-eaten salad.

It didn’t seem to go well with them.

Regardless, I was then asked a question by them, which is the theme of this blog post: “Why are you so fat? What’s the appeal? I don’t get it.” – and it was then that I decided, rather than explain this question that I am very frequently asked to everyone who ever asks about it in the future, I will instead link them to this blog post, to save myself time and effort.

So it’s time to get into the meat of it, and I think it’s best that I explain why, in three points, “Why am I so fat, what’s the appeal?”

Well, there are many appeals, in many regards:

1. Food do be tasting good though

Despite certain social movements demanding and attempting to enforce otherwise, food is actually intended to taste nice when you eat it. I enjoy eating food, in large amounts, and in different variety. I like to eat a varied range of foods, and in an amount that leaves me satisfied. Food is designed to taste nice, generally, and you tend to eat enough of it in a sitting that you feel like you don’t need to eat any more. That’s all I do.

2. My body improves in ways I want

Depending on who you are, you may have goals for your own body that you would like to achieve. Exactly what that entails depends on who you are, and what you consider important about your body. For me, I desire increased femininity in my body, amongst other things. There are various definitions of femininity, and this isn’t the blog post where I discuss that, so to keep things brief, the traditionally femininity-adjacent features that I desire for my own body are curves, much larger breasts, and a belly in a maternal womanly way. You can see how these bodily features align with my gaining of weight quite well, and I’ve made considerable progress towards improving these aspects of my body with it.

3. I see attractive, & then I emulate it

You may not be able to relate personally to this point unless you’re gay and/or some variety of queer, but stay with me on this. I’m attracted to those I am attracted to, in my case I’m pansexual, which means I am attracted to others regardless of their gender, meaning that gender is not a determining factor in attraction romantically or sexually.

So in my life I have been blessed enough to experience the wonder and majesty that is other women. Simply put, those who are quite thin tend to be less attractive to me. It’s not to say that I hate those who are thin, but personally cannot find myself thinking about them very often, outside of exceptional examples of beauty and personality. A good bit of the time, when I look at somebody who is thin, I feel a sense of worry and concern, it almost feels like they’re going to snap, breaking in two like a twig, it almost freaks me out. Simply put, it’s not for me.

But why am I telling you this? Well, here’s the deal- I see someone attractive, and I, myself, also want to be attractive. So I try my best to be attractive like they are. In my case, being thin is not a desirable trait in a partner, and I don’t suffer from society’s fatphobia-driven bias against anybody bigger than a stick figure, so my personal drive of making myself look and feel attractive directly aligns with gaining weight.

‎Conclusion

Well, there you go. The three reasons why I’m so fat, and why I’ll continue to be, increasingly, forever.

To recap: food tastes good, gaining weight improves my body in positive ways that I value, and gaining weight aligns with what I consider attractive and thus want to emulate personally.

I hope that explains things and avoids any confusion.

If you still somehow think I’m incorrect for being myself so authentically, in a way that does no harm to anybody, then I suppose I’ll say: “to each their own.” – as in, everyone has their own opinion. But, I think I got across my side well enough.

Thank you for reading!